INSIDE MY HEAD

INSIDE MY HEAD

As I am sure you will see from my Taking Stock post, I've sorta been in my own head for the past few weeks. In a way, it has been a blessing though. It has given me time to rethink a lot of things and remember how amazing and wonderful life really can be. I know that many of you read these and worry that I am a ticking stress time bomb, well I listen to ya'll, and sometimes this is true. However, I ask that you also pay attention to the smaller details, my other posts, I regularly give props to my favorite blonde haired girl, her pitbulls, her whole family, the gym, etc. While I do appreciate, and need to be put in check, more often than I like to admit, I am also making amazing and wonderful changes to my life that help me get through the "rough days." A lot of my lengthy posts are on here to help give the public an insight into ONE (my) Veterans mindset. I cannot protest to speak for every Veteran, and in the coming weeks I do plan on putting some far more positive and uplifting posts on here. But to some extent I got a bit of a late start in detailing my PTSD recovery, but I think it's important for people to see the Sour as well as the Sweet, so I have to back track a bit. Also, I'm definitely not the smartest kid on the block and am painfully aware that many people will only see the bad and assume that I am using PTSD as an excuse to justify some of less than good decisions I've made in my life. So it does take me a while to write some of these posts as I have to tread carefully with the things I say knowing that the haters will only hear what they want to hear in these posts. As far as PTSD being an excuse, this is not the case at all, I take full responsibility for all of my actions, but at the end of the day only a fool would say that the decisions we make and the things we do are not at least to some extent influenced by our environments and mindsets that occur as a result of these environments. Again, I am responsible for me, which is why I have placed myself in a positive environment consisting of positive people and things. Every night when I go to bed I feel like a little kid on Christmas Eve struggling to fall asleep due to the excitement of what presents the following morning may bring.